Friday, September 18, 2009

When the Crap Rains Down, It's Nice to Know there's a Roof over your Head...

  • Lately, I've had the feeling that crap has been raining down on me with the force of a Texas thunderstorm. And, if you've ever visited Texas during a thunderstorm, it can be summed up in 1 phrase, courtesy of Moby, a DJ of Houston's yesteryear: "It's raining just like a cow peeing on a flat rock."
  • So, you get the gist of my comparison. Why did I feel this way? Lord, let me count the ways:

Crappy Economy which directly affects my and my partner's income

  • Income problems leads to arguing with mate

  • Lack of income requires us to sell everything that isn't nailed down.

  • Insurance is running out in December for us...we are the Pre-existing poster children

  • Insurance is expensive...which full circles back to lack of income

  • See arguing with mate

  • More health crap - more pills, more steroids, more blood tests.

  • Paying notes to hospital already for Dec 08 hospitalization, should be paid off in 2 years.

  • Lack of income making it difficult

  • There's that full circle shit again.

  • Steroids are causing severe depression...cry at the drop of a hat, very grumpy.

  • Apathy sets in which is a scary place to be.

  • Then placed on more medication...gotten to where I don't much care about money or lack of it anymore.

  • Slowly climbing my way out of Apathyville

  • Starting to feel like me again, although still feel sick.

  • I begin to set personal goals for myself. First time in a long time. Apathy is losing it's grip.

  • I got news that my sister is CANCER FREE. I cry with joy.

  • Feeling crappy has made me more emotional. That's not all bad.

  • I realize that contrary to my popular belief, I'm NOT all that easy to live with . Particularly when I'm on steroids.

  • Come to find out, I suddenly realize my partner has been and is being patient with me. In her own, gruff, adorable way.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I realize how lucky I am that I have a roof over my head right now. I'm grateful to have objectivity about myself. It stings sometimes, but other times it's healing. I'm looking forward to having Earl Grey Tea when it becomes cold at night.

Goodbye, Apathy.

More Musings Later-

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