Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Power of an Internet Connection

The old adage, "Breaking up is Hard to Do," has given new meaning in the last several weeks to me.  While I feel myself getting stronger little by little each day, I also find that licking those wounds is an important part of the process of moving on. 

I hadn't heard from a friend of mine in quite some time and decided to send an email giving the news of my breakup.  The next day, lo and behold, she responds and states that she is in the same predictament.  So, amid packing, boxes and broken dreams, she emailed me the sorrow she was going through and I knew all too well what she was feeling.  Somehow, seeing an email from me stating my bad news to her allowed her to share her bad news with me.  And, so it goes...we've been emailing each other with renewed commitment to stay in touch. 

Distance is a funny thing.  My friend lives a fair distance away from me, yet the miles don't seem so numerous as we communicate via email.  Then again, when I was hanging on to a relationship that was dead, that distance between me and my ex seemed to be far and wide, despite our close proximity.

It made me think of an old Ray Steven's tune that no one should have to relate to; "Isn't it lonely together?"

More Musings Later-

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

When You've Done All You Can Do...STAND.

That's a bit of advice based on a Biblical scripture that my mother used to tell my sister and I when we were growing up.  And, I'm finding that I'm doing alot of standing right now. 

Change is never easy and having to leave the familiar for the unfamiliar is intimidating to say the least.  I'm finding out alot about myself these days too.  At the very time in my life that I am feeling the most pain I've ever experienced, I'm also experiencing gratefulness at the same time.  Parting with the one I love has left me with a gaping hole in the middle of my soul.  Yet, I'm grateful that I got to experience what being head over heels in love was like to begin with.  Such a dichotomy of emotions, yet it's how I feel.

While it grieves me to realize that separating is best, I've learned that sometimes a lover makes a better friend.  And, recognizing that fact and doing something about it is the part that is difficult.  As I drove away from that situation, the wails of grief that escaped from my lips sounded completely foreign; as if an animal was suffering caught between living and dying.  My mood bounces from feeling okay to despair without forewarning. 

They say that time heals all wounds.  I guess that it will, but I won't soon forget this pain.  There's one thing I know for sure:  I've done all I can do.

And, I'm standing.

More Musings Later-