Tuesday, April 06, 2010

When You've Done All You Can Do...STAND.

That's a bit of advice based on a Biblical scripture that my mother used to tell my sister and I when we were growing up.  And, I'm finding that I'm doing alot of standing right now. 

Change is never easy and having to leave the familiar for the unfamiliar is intimidating to say the least.  I'm finding out alot about myself these days too.  At the very time in my life that I am feeling the most pain I've ever experienced, I'm also experiencing gratefulness at the same time.  Parting with the one I love has left me with a gaping hole in the middle of my soul.  Yet, I'm grateful that I got to experience what being head over heels in love was like to begin with.  Such a dichotomy of emotions, yet it's how I feel.

While it grieves me to realize that separating is best, I've learned that sometimes a lover makes a better friend.  And, recognizing that fact and doing something about it is the part that is difficult.  As I drove away from that situation, the wails of grief that escaped from my lips sounded completely foreign; as if an animal was suffering caught between living and dying.  My mood bounces from feeling okay to despair without forewarning. 

They say that time heals all wounds.  I guess that it will, but I won't soon forget this pain.  There's one thing I know for sure:  I've done all I can do.

And, I'm standing.

More Musings Later-


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