Sunday, October 26, 2008

Remember When?

It's amazing when you get a bit older, just how much things change....for instance:

Remember when:
Every store had Layaway?

When there wasn't credit cards?

When the pharmacy delivered to your home?

When there weren't any malls?

No one had a computer in the home?

The internet didn't exist?

Microwaves were the rage and were HUGE?

People started buying dishwashers?

Kids played outdoors after school and on the weekends?

The average rock concert was approximately $7.50

Everybody had a VW bug?

You filled your gas tank according to the last number on your license plate?

You had to type your term papers on a typewriter?

You felt like you were in a bad Jetson's movie when you got your first huge computer.

Your first cell phone was the size of a duffel bag?

You emailed someone for the first time?

That people's phone numbers started with letters and then numbers? (YU5-1111).

You rode on an airplane for the first time?

You had a drink of your first beer or cocktail?

You suddenly realize as you've gotten older, that your family is growing older too.

You learned the truth about Santa Claus?

you had your first date?

You read a book that wasn't required for school?

You came to realize you are all grown up, yet you feel like you should know more. Oy.

More Musings Later-

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Ever had South in Your Mouth?

Some of my favorites:
SIM (South in Mouth): Don't give me the labor pains, just give me the baby!
Translation: Don't tell me every little thing that happened. Just the facts!
SIM: Land the plane!
Translation: Get to the point!
SIM: We're in a Mell-uva-Hess!
Translation: Code for "We're in a Hell of a Mess"
SIM: (If you have a cold, snort) Get up there, dang it! 'Fore I eatcha!
Translation: I shudder to even think about it. Moving on.
SIM: Laripin good! (sp?)
Translation: That was extremely good!
SIM: "Bless Yore Heart"
Translation: You're a Moron.
SIM: Lipstick and Paint makes you plenty of what you ain't
Translation: True beauty is not found by wearing makeup
SIM Honorary Southerner - Dolly Parton

"It takes alot of money to look this cheap,"
Dolly Parton to Zubin Mehta at the Kennedy Center Honors
"If I couldn't beller for a living, I don't know what I'd do..."
Dolly Parton on her singing career
More Musings Later-

A Two-Fold Musing

Okay. I look at the hits on this blog every so often and I see the numbers increase from month to month. Surely, someone is a regular reader? If you look to your right - you will see a widget that asks if you read this blog regularly and to be a "follower". See it? Please sign up...I'm feeling awfully lame with a big fat zero over there. Moving on.

Yes, I'm probably one of the only females that watches ESPN religiously (especially during football season). The other night, I was watching it at a restaurant (an event that has become rare lately) and I noticed that my beloved TITANS were listed as one of the talking points within 60 seconds. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things....WOW, I'm used to the sportscasters smirking about how bad our team is?

So, now we are getting some respect...but wait, just when I thought things couldn't get any better, they announce THE TITANS ARE THE ONLY TEAM IN THE NFL THAT IS UNDEFEATED. Yes, you read that correctly. The team that won the super bowl recently lost a game (Giants).

Our team is rock-solid thanks to our incredible defense
I'm stunned. Does this mean...? Could it be an indicator....? Are we Super Bowl bound?

I'll keep ya posted...

More Musings Later-

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Politics and Other Ugly Business

Can we all say loud and proud, WE ARE FREAKING SICK OF POLITICS!!!
God, I know I am. The catch phrases, the whir of photo ops, shaking of hands, pointing fingers, mud slinging, slogans and such are just flooding my head. It seems everyone thinks YES WE CAN when others feel they want a straight talker. I'm going to throw my 2 cents in on this race and I'm sure no one will think it is profound but me....but enough already.
Barack Obama: I think of his entire family, I like his wife, Michelle the best. She seems to be a straightforward, thoughtful person. Barack? He's a passionate speaker and I don't doubt that he is very sincere. But, he's a politician. He's got questionable associations (in my humble opinion) professionally and personally. I feel like the teacher in Charlie Brown's clas room, (Wah Wah Waaaaahhhh). Nonetheless, it concerns me.

Is he a Jimmy Carter that was truly a decent man and just surrounded himself with bad people? Who knows? We won't know until he becomes president and see what the other side reveals when they start digging for dirt. I'll be voting for Obama with my nose held. I'm a Democrat and always will be. I might add that it truly pisses me off that he is the first black man to run for president and I hoped I would feel...well, better about it than I do. I don't get warm fuzzy feelings from him. I may be totally wrong, but I don't think so. YES WE CAN! So Barack, Can you?

The other side of the ticket is John McCain: Everybody says this, but ya have to take your hat off to the man. He has been through hell and back as a POW. I didn't realize to what extent of torture he went through and all I can say is, God Bless you, man. Two long years of solitary confinement, maming his shoulders and I'm sure alot more. You can't tell me that when these men went to war and especially endured this type of treatment, that they are mentally sound. They're human...they've given too much already. That's one reason I feel he shouldn't be president. After going through all of that trauma, pain and mental/physical abuse...why put yourself through a very stressful job such as president when you are in your 70's?

You're probably thinking, "Well, Ronald Reagan did it." point exactly. He was a flipping actor...and, he played his part beautifully.

Also, McCain is scary...he wants to invade any country he can think of...see? I think the abuse he suffered as a POW is at work here. He's also has bad judgement. Be serious...Palin? She is a joke, and she gets the most laughs every Saturday night on NBC. I guess she has taken over as "Republican Babe" from Ann Coulter.

What I would have given to ask a very blunt and pointed question to both of the candidates when they were in Nashville.

Here's what my question would be: "WithOUT all of the bullshit spin...what is on your agenda for the first 100 days? It better be the economy, send our troops home from Iraq and healthcare." And, the minute Obama or McCain start with the "My Friends" or "Thank you, Taryn for asking this question," I would grab Tom Brokaw's buzzer and remind them. "NO Bullshit! Answer the question! And don't give me crap about healthcare is too expensive...Other countries manage to do it, we can too."

I'm Taryn and I approve this message.

More Musings Later-

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

My Mother Cracks Me Up...

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you've no doubt noticed that I'm opinionated. (stop laughing.) Yes, I know that I am opinionated and headstrong (a nicer word than stubborn).

How did I get this way? Well, I think you are born with these qualities to an extent, but I also think your parents help you to cultivate your qualities so that you are the best individual you can be. So, I'm blaming my Mom all the way! LOL. There are lots of qualities that I love about my mother, but one of them is her practical advice and the other is her wicked, sarcastic sense of humor. It makes me chuckle for days afterward when I think about it.

You're probably wondering what types of advice she has given me over the years that I have taken to heart:

Money: Save it. Enjoy your money, but don't spend every nickel you have. If you're buying a home, don't overbuy. Keep your house note within reason. Use the envelope system if necessary. I learned about this long before dear ole Dave Ramsey had a radio show. The envelope system is simply, putting cash into an envelope earmarked for budgeted items such as groceries, prescriptions and so on. It keeps you within budget and keeps you away from credit cards. This money advice has been passed down from my grandmother who was also good with saving money.

Working: Do your best. Pure and simple. I've tried to do this each day of my working life. ***Also, this pearl of wisdom: Learn a trade that will allow you to make a living. Don't rely on a spouse or anyone else to make your way for you. Whether that trade was bricklaying or working in an office, she was insistent that it was the first step of reaching for your dreams. Me? the thought of going back to Corporate America makes me nauseaus, but you know what? I could do it if the writing thing were to go sour. This wisdom she gave me gives you a sense of power within yourself. Make your own way...

Okay, enough serious stuff. My mother is hilarious. I remember when we were watching "Mr. Belvedere" on television one day (the older version) and there was a scene where Clifton Webb was trying to control the children at the kitchen table. He gave all the "parental" discipline in front of the parents and then when the parents left for work, he reduced himself to the childrens' level by behaving exactly as they were. You had to see it to get what I'm talking about, but my mother howled at that scene! That's when I knew that she would have loved to do that with me as I was growing up! Then I began to cry I was laughing so hard!

Mother's Day: My sister and I took my Mom and my grandmother to Houston one Mother's Day for a surprise celebration. Well, we decided to take them to a Chippendale show. Somehow, my mother knew before hand. So, we made sure that no one told my grandmother. She had very poor vision and my mother took her glasses from her so she wouldn't know where my sister was driving. We kept describing the scenery during the drive hoping to throw her off and it worked beautifully. She thought we were in Lake Charles, Louisiana instead of Houston, Texas!

When we got to the club, my mother led my grandmother into the club which was dimly lit with loud music. My mother roamed around checking out the mostly naked men dancing on tables and picked one out. She guided my grandmother to stand right by the table where he was shaking his tush. She gave her a fistful of single dollar bills and then slowly put her glasses on. "That's a man's butt! Oooooo!" She squealed and began tipping almost immediately as she sipped something with fruit juice and rum. Just as she recognized that it was a man's butt, the camera began clicking. My grandmother looked like a kid in a candy store!

A Cacophony: My mom loves the country and when we moved to that setting, she began decorating and acquiring everything "country" motif. She even owned a basset hound and I, a beagle hound. As we were standing outside one evening, we heard a sudden outburst of dogs barking in our neighborhood which set the cows off and they began mooing in response. My mother thought aloud, "Fred (my beagle) has set off a cacophony of sound," she said with a very serious, observant face. I laughed as I looked at the other women in our neighborhood. I seriously doubted if that was their first thought! Did I say my mother was incredibly smart?

Ban-Pu-Ding - We were driving around one day near Austin, Texas some years ago, and on the way back home, we spotted what looked to be a very old business that was vamped into a Dairy Queen chain. We decided to get a cone for the road. As we pulled around to the drive-in, A big sign advertised, "BAN PU DING - TRY SOME". My mother read the sign and was puzzled. She turned to me and asked, "Since when did Dairy Queen carry Asian desserts?" she wondered. I shrug and say I don't know.

We pulled around to the drive through and she decides that the BAN PU DING is what she wants. So she gives her order and their is silence on the speaker. "Ma'am, can you repeat your order?" the window clerk asked. So she did. More silence. Then, the clerk made sense of it all, finally.

"Ma'am, we runned out of letters, that is all we could spell of Banana Pudding," I still hoo-ha over that.
Music - My Mom was the "cool Mom" in my growing up years. So, we had alot of friends from school over to our house. She was always on top of the music scene. I remember when my sister and some apartment neighbors got together and her neighbor played a tune for her to see if she knew who it was. She wasn't sure. My mother, however had a knowing look on her face. Most kids worry about their mothers throwing out old timer names and "embarrassing" them. Not my mother...she kept me abreast of the latest in my culture.

Finally, the neighbor asked my mom, "Do you know who this is?" And my mother nodded yes. "Kid Rock, I love him! He can rap, sing, play instruments, he's very talented." The neighbors were dumbfounded at our hip mom. He slaps in another CD..."Who is this?" testing her again in disbelief. "Easy one! Metallica, "Sad but True," Again, I learned about this tune from my mom.

Lighten Up! My mother was seated in front of her makeup mirror in our bathroom, putting on makeup. I was sitting on the edge of the tub talking to her. I glanced at the toilet paper holder and noticed there was writing on our toilet paper. I walk over and someone in our house copied a commercial on TV by writing on the toilet paper with a magic marker. I made a face and remarked, "This is downright wasteful!" My mother continued putting on her makeup and said, "Lighten up, kid...are you sure you're not 40 instead of 18?"

MS: Yep, my Mom has Multiple Sclerosis. Just call us the "Neurological kids". Anyway, a few weeks ago, she fell in the yard and couldn't get up. My sister was trying to think of a way to get her up without pulling on her, cause she just went through chemo and wasn't supposed to lift anything. (Hmmm, MS, PD and Cancer, we're a healthy lot). Well, some little kids from across the street came over and in their innocence, offered to help my mother up. When she was relaying this to me, I thought of Mr. Belvedere. She was nice to the children, but commented to my sister, "Oh give me a break! I would crush their little heads into the ground if I used them to get up!" Cue the sticking out of the tongue.

The grooming of a Writer: My Mother should have pursued writing for a living. She is the one that introduced my sister and I to the library at a young age. She read to us as small children. She bought the hard cover book to "A Long Cold Winter" by Laura Ingalls Wilder which began my journey in the writing field. She was my sounding board for my first book and countless poems I had written. She inspired me to write and to read. My sister and I were reading long before we entered school. I think it developed our intellect and our vocabulary.

Example: When my sister was in 1st grade, she marched herself up to her teacher and asked politely, "May I have a tissue? I have tenacious mucous." A clear indicator that her brain was throbbing from knowledge at an early age.

Me? Not so cerebral of a quote. But, the most important quality of a writer: When a friend of my father's asked him, "And how old is this little princess?" I responded with a deadpan, "I no lady, I Taryn."

That's damn funny on a multitude of levels. Thank you, Mom. Bravo.

Anyone hungry for some Ban Pu Ding?
More Musings Later-