Leo and Willies

Last night, my partner and I went out to dinner.  Let me tell you, we NEEDED that dinner out.  Why?  Well, let me set the atmosphere:

We've been scraping for jobs during this crappy-ass economy and finally are starting to get some steady gigs.  We haven't been out in MONTHS.  Literally.  We live AND work together 24/7.  We've been sniping at each other, stressed out, having laptops implode, talking to customer service geeks in China who can barely speak conversational English, replacing a waterheater that was leaking and the list goes on.  I'm willing to bet that we haven't been out in at least a year. 

We decided to go to a restaurant that featured tinkly music, quiet conversation, candlelit tables and a piano player after 8pm.  As we sat and talked, the scope of our conversation changed.  It wasn't about laundry needing to be done, blogging that was behind etc.  We were discussing "dating-esque" topics.  Things that interested each of us, vacations that we took in the past that we loved and why.  It was relaxing.  In fact, it reminded me of when my parents would go to a restaurant in Port Arthur, Texas called, "Leo and Willies". 

My sister and I would be on our best behavior and we always ordered the same thing.  Some sort of Chicken Cutlet that was so unique and delicious, that if I tasted it today, I would know it in a second who made it.  My parents would even have a cocktail and they weren't much for drinking in those days.  The lighting was dim, there was tinkly music, people dressed in their finest suits and dresses and everyone talking in quiet conversation as forks, knives and spoons clattered quietly against the plates.  As I looked around, Chianti was purchased and poured freely from it's wicker holder and exotic cigar smoke filled the air.  It was my first fancy restaurant memory.

Once dinner was over, I always excused myself from the table and walked over to where the cashier waited for payments and gave out mints for the ride home.  She sat behind a glass case that was filled with various cigar boxes  with cigars on display.  I would stare at those cigars and wondered about the men who smoked them.  We lived so frugally in those days that I couldn't imagine buying a cigar for after dinner.  I thought Leo and Willies was the most incredible place I had ever been to.  Somehow, problems lifted temporarily, people talked softly and laughter was so much easier within the confines of candlelight and tinkly music.

That's when I made myself a promise:  When things are too much, if I can possibly swing it, I visit Leo and Willie type restaurants.  When I am celebrating an event such as a birthday, exotic vacation etc, I purchase a cigar and smoke it.  They were never meant to be packaged inside a box under glass without the hope of being opened. 

I love nights like last night.

More Musings Later-

The Game of Life and the Importance of Words

This morning as I was waiting for my bagel to finish toasting, I began to have a free floating memory rush back to me. I do that sometimes...I don't have to be thinking about anything in particular (especially in the morning) and sometimes, I will be reminded of a memory from long ago. Today was no exception.

I began to think about my grandmother. Not my maternal grandmother who I absolutely adored, but my paternal grandmother. I didn't know her very well because of...well...there were alot of family dynamics going on and she wasn't that interested in my father or his family. As a result, we knew of her, I remember visiting her exactly 3 times during my childhood. She offered my sister and I a Coke and we were to drink one and be quiet. And, we did.

I have to admit, I didn't much like her. She rarely remembered my name and stared at me when my father's guilt outweighed the strength of his shoulders. We sat....drinking that one Coke...being quiet....listening to the grandfather clock tick away the minutes in her musty home. Why do I remember this? I don't know exactly. I guess because I was remembering a quote that popped into my head.

The third visit to my grandmother was not pleasant. She was dying and my father was attending to her along with his sisters. I sat in the living room alone listening to her illness and drinking my one Coke. Until I spotted a small white box by her easy chair. It was filled with quotes. For someone who seemed so angry, resentful and callous obviously read these jewels as she began each day. I discovered her secret.

Did I have different feelings about her in the end? No. she was distant either by design or determination. But it did convince me that this distant and angry woman struggled each day. And, her refuge was in a small white box. Yet, it was like watching someone being thrown a life preserver and they keep reaching and never grasp it even though it is floating right in front of them. You've known people like that, haven't you? So, I thought I would share some favorite quotes of mine in memory of the stranger known as my paternal grandmother.


If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
-- Katharine Hepburn

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
-- Dalai Lama

You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
-- Mary Tyler Moore

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.
-- Erica Jong

You never find yourself until you face the truth.
-- Pearl Bailey

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Henry Travers (Clarence): Remember George, No man is a failure who has friends.

To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
Gregory Peck (Atticus Finch): If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
-- George Carlin

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
-- William Shakespeare

If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found.
-- Author Unknown

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
-- e.e. cummings

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
-- Albert Einstein

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.
-- Erma Bombeck

Carpe Diem (Seize the day)
-- Horace

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T. Washington


Quotes from "A River Runs Through It" Norman MacLean
Long ago, when I was a young man, my father said to me, "Norman, you like to write stories." And I said "Yes, I do." Then he said, "Someday, when you're ready you might tell our family story. Only then will you understand what happened and why."

Like many fly fishermen in western Montana where the summer days are almost Arctic in length, I often do not start fishing until the cool of the evening. Then in the Arctic half-light of the canyon, all existence fades to a being with my soul and memories and the sounds of the Big Blackfoot River and a four-count rhythm and the hope that a fish will rise. Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters.

It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.

More Musings Later-

Remember When?

It's amazing when you get a bit older, just how much things change....for instance:

Remember when:

Every store had Layaway?

When there wasn't credit cards?

When the pharmacy delivered to your home?

When there weren't any malls?

No one had a computer in the home?

The internet didn't exist?

Microwaves were the rage and were HUGE?

People started buying dishwashers?

Kids played outdoors after school and on the weekends?

The average rock concert was approximately $7.50

Everybody had a VW bug?

You filled your gas tank according to the last number on your license plate?

You had to type your term papers on a typewriter?

You felt like you were in a bad Jetson's movie when you got your first huge computer.

Your first cell phone was the size of a duffel bag?

You emailed someone for the first time?

That people's phone numbers started with letters and then numbers? (YU5-1111).

You rode on an airplane for the first time?

You had a drink of your first beer or cocktail?

You suddenly realize as you've gotten older, that your family is growing older too.

You learned the truth about Santa Claus?

you had your first date?

You read a book that wasn't required for school?

You came to realize you are all grown up, yet you feel like you should know more. Oy.

More Musings Later-

6235 Adams and 2 sisters

Yesterday I went to Vanderbilt Medical Center with my sister. She had an appointment to get a port placed in her chest for chemotherapy and radiation treatment for the next several weeks.

We are very different from each other, yet we are so much alike, it's scary! For instance, we have the same sense of humor. We both adore dry wit. We both like to make fun of Rachael Ray and anyone else that is too perky for their own good.

As we laughed and talked yesterday, it made me think of how far we've both come. For some reason, I still think of myself as 12 years old and she is 16. I guess it's a sister thing. As you can tell, she is fighting the cancer with a vengance and she is fighting it not only for herself, but for my mother, me and all her friends.

I silently marveled as her phone was going off non-stop with text messages of encouragement and a repetitive message of "We LOVE you!". How wonderful. I look at her and see a grown woman going through some of the crap life hands you sometimes. I look at myself in a mirror and see that I'm not the 12 year old kid sister anymore. I'm so proud of her and I try to be supportive. I'm thrilled to say her friends are literally tripping all over themselves to be just as supportive or even moreso.

Both of us have matured and somehow morphed into adults. Yet, I think that our growing up years on 6235 Adams is what propelling her forward. For all the times we had to kneel in the hall for punishment where I was looking over to my older sister as she rolled her eyes and rattled off a commentary on "how lame" the knee punishment was. I thought she was the bravest person I'd ever known.

For all the times that I missed a curfew and our mom punished me by making me ride the bus to school in the morning for a week. Yet, as I walked to the bus stop, I saw my sister's car pulling up to offer me a ride once we were out of view from my mother's watchful eye. Again, I thought she was so brave to disobey my mother by helping me out.

Each time as we grew up, she would do something to make me feel that she was the bravest person in the world.

She's done it again. You watch, she'll kick the cancer's ass and not even break a sweat doing it. She's the bravest person I know...still.

Would YOU pray, send good thoughts etc. to her?

Check her blog out: "Every problem has a gift for you in its hands."

P.S. Mom, don't get mad. Remember, all this happened a long time ago! Don't ground us!!! LOL

More Musings Later-