Saturday, February 09, 2008

I'm Taryn Simpson, and I approve this Message

Is anyone else getting sick of the politics that are going around yet? Jeez my knees we're in February and we got 9 more months of this crap. Thank God for "I love Lucy" reruns and "Golden Girls" on Lifetime. Sheesh.

It must be really intense though to be a political candidate for the President of the United States, though. The power trip must be the big allure....I know it's not the money. You can't hardly be president unless you have a decent bankroll. Even though I hate politics of any form, I still try to picture what I would do if I were a candidate.

I envision George Stephanopolous grilling me on ABC news.

George: So, Taryn...what made you decide to join the presidential race?

Taryn: Well, I was driving along the coast of California and it was so beautiful...the sun was just starting to set and I thought how lucky I am to see this magnificient scenery....

George: Uh, Taryn? you haven't answered my question.

Taryn: It worked for Reagan, didn't it?

George: What would be the first thing you would do if elected to office?

Taryn: I would ban everyone from wearing suits. Sneakers would be the shoe of choice and Fridays would be "PJ Day". No exceptions.

George: What would be your foreign policy?

Taryn: When a dignitary visits from another country, we would sit down and play a game of poker. Texas Hold'em preferably. That's to show I mean business. Then, when I win, I would split a hot fudge sundae with them. Just so there's no hard feelings.

George: Are you up for the grueling hours it takes to be President?

Taryn: Absolutely not. I'm old. I need naps. And beware to the Secret Service agent that wakes me out of a sound sleep. If something happens in the middle of the night, I'll deal with it in the morning.

George: I'm guessing you would utilize Camp David for working vacations?

Taryn: Working and Vacation don't belong in the same sentence. My vacation spot would change from Camp David to Key West.

George: I know you're a Democrat....what do you think of Obama and Clinton?

Taryn: Obama seems like a nice dude. He's very clean cut and smart. But, I don't know that I agree with his opinions. I'm afraid he is tarnished in my mind because of the way he danced when he appeared on the Ellen show. He was pretty lame.

Clinton? I think she is one tough broad. She has her hands full being married to Bill. I really like Bill and think he is very smart....he's just what my grandfather used to term as "Life stupid and Book smart". I think Hillary is "Life smart and Book smart." I like Hilly. Sue me.

George: Are you always this blunt?

Taryn: Duh, what do you think??? (I'm sarcastic too).

I'm Taryn Simpson and I approve of this message. You can take a hike now, George.

More Musings Later-

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