Southernisms - Part II

By popular demand, I am offering some Southernisms for some Holiday Cheer!

Ann Richard-ism: "Poor George, He was born with a silver foot in his mouth"

Translation: None Needed. He's an idiot.

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Southernism: "I'm going to have a Come To Jesus meeting with Ralph"

Translation: I'm going to have a heart to heart conversation with Ralph.

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Southernism: "If you don't shut up, I'll shoot and take you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! And, don't think I can't do it!" Dolly Parton

Translation: If you refuse to be quiet, I'll shoot you in a strategic area that will cause you to speak in a high voice for life. And don't think I can't do it.
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Statement: "I feel sure I got the job"

Southernism Response: "There's many a slip between the cup and the lip."

Translation: You can't be certain until an offer is made.

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Southernism: "We're in a mell of a hess"

Translation: I don't wish to curse, but I intend to say, "We're in a Hell of a Mess".

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Southernism: The printer is printing documents wampy- jawed.

Translation: The printer is printing documents in a crooked fashion

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Southernism: "Wash up as far as possible, wash as far down as possible, then be sure to wash possible."

Translation: Take a shower or bath and be sure to wash your groin area.

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Southernism: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

Translation: It's best to secure a sure thing rather than rely on a possibility.

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Mamaw-ism: "A problem is like white meat. The more you chew on it, the bigger it gets."

Translation: The more you think about your problems, the more it will consume all of your thoughts.

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Southernism: "I'm so hungry, my stomach's touchin' my backbone"

Translation: I'm very hungry, I haven't eaten anything all day.

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Mamaw-ism: "I see said the blind man to his deaf and dumb dog"

Translation: The statement you made doesn't make any sense.

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Southernism: "Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone's got one."

Translation: Everyone is going to have an opinion.

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Mom-ism: "I could squeeze a nickel so hard, I could make the buffalo take a crap."

Translation: I'm very frugal with money.

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Southernism: "That boy's not right. He's one fry short of a happy meal"

Translation: That boy doesn't seem to have all his mental facilities.