Southernisms - Part II

By popular demand, I am offering some Southernisms for some Holiday Cheer!

Ann Richard-ism: "Poor George, He was born with a silver foot in his mouth"

Translation: None Needed. He's an idiot.

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Southernism: "I'm going to have a Come To Jesus meeting with Ralph"

Translation: I'm going to have a heart to heart conversation with Ralph.

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Southernism: "If you don't shut up, I'll shoot and take you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! And, don't think I can't do it!" Dolly Parton

Translation: If you refuse to be quiet, I'll shoot you in a strategic area that will cause you to speak in a high voice for life. And don't think I can't do it.
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Statement: "I feel sure I got the job"

Southernism Response: "There's many a slip between the cup and the lip."

Translation: You can't be certain until an offer is made.

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Southernism: "We're in a mell of a hess"

Translation: I don't wish to curse, but I intend to say, "We're in a Hell of a Mess".

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Southernism: The printer is printing documents wampy- jawed.

Translation: The printer is printing documents in a crooked fashion

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Southernism: "Wash up as far as possible, wash as far down as possible, then be sure to wash possible."

Translation: Take a shower or bath and be sure to wash your groin area.

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Southernism: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

Translation: It's best to secure a sure thing rather than rely on a possibility.

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Mamaw-ism: "A problem is like white meat. The more you chew on it, the bigger it gets."

Translation: The more you think about your problems, the more it will consume all of your thoughts.

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Southernism: "I'm so hungry, my stomach's touchin' my backbone"

Translation: I'm very hungry, I haven't eaten anything all day.

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Mamaw-ism: "I see said the blind man to his deaf and dumb dog"

Translation: The statement you made doesn't make any sense.

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Southernism: "Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone's got one."

Translation: Everyone is going to have an opinion.

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Mom-ism: "I could squeeze a nickel so hard, I could make the buffalo take a crap."

Translation: I'm very frugal with money.

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Southernism: "That boy's not right. He's one fry short of a happy meal"

Translation: That boy doesn't seem to have all his mental facilities.

Southernisms

"...Poor George, he was born with a silver foot in his mouth!"
Democratic Convention Speech


I had lunch with "The Mikster" this week. Might I say that I was so enjoying not having to watch the time to make sure that I was taking only an hour for lunch! I decided to make it my errand day as I usually am in front of my laptop from early in the morning till late at night.

During our lunch, we caught up on what each of us were up to, and of course we discussed our favorite "Southernisms". Not sure what that is? Read on for a listing of our favorites.

- "Is that South in your Mouth? "

Translation: Is that a Southern accent I hear?


- "I'm hungrier than a tied up dawg"

Translation: I'm pretty damned hungry.


- "I'm busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest"

Translation: I'm extremely busy.


- "I'm more nervous than a long tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs"

Translation: I'm very nervous


- "He was smiling like a raccon eating grapes through a picket fence"

Translation: He had a big smile on his face.


- "This room is colder than a witch's boob in a brass bra"

Translation: It's pretty damn cold in here.


- "I was so cold, I shivered just like a dawg pooping peach seeds".

Translation: I was so cold, I was shaking. Now go look at a peach seed, think about it and you will understand just how hard that person must have been shaking.

Aren't they great? The rest are really dirty, so I'll refrain from mentioning them here. I've had to clean up several of them already. But, you get the idea.

By the way, I put a pic of Ann Richards, the late great governor of Texas at the top of my blog. She epitomized the sassy, no-nonsense style, grace and true grit of a southerner.

Damn, I miss Ann Richards.

More Musings Later-