What would you do if you had a Million Bucks?

How many times have you wondered about that? I've done it all my life.

I remember when I was young, I would spend time with my grandparents at their small home in Port Arthur, Texas. I noticed one day a glass doorknob to their bedroom and was captivated.

"Why don't you sell the doorknob, Mamaw?" I would ask increduously.

"Why? It's just a glass doorknob," she replied.

"No it's not! It's the biggest diamond I've ever seen!" I was convinced she and my grandfather were "rich as creases" as they used to say and just not telling me about it!

Well, today I thought about what I would do if I had a million dollars...

Believe it or not, the very first thing I would do (I swear) would be to go to bed and not worry about getting up at any certain time in the morning. (That's my PDiddy talking though).

I would buy a private jet and hire a pilot to fly me, my partner and furry kids to:

• Key West to see Ernest Hemingway's house and watering hole and 9 toed cats.
• Chicago and see the Oprah show
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• Maine to sail around the coast
• Boston to have a drink at where they filmed "Cheers" and to lay some flowers on my friend, Pearl's grave. She was the one who taught me to love vodka martinis. Cheers old girl! (Hallow?)
• New York to have dinner at one of Gordon Ramsey's restaurants and 1 of Bobby Flay's restaurants.
• California - to see San Francisco, Malibu, San Diego and other lovely coastline cities.
• Then, I would have the pilot fly us to Hawaii for a few days.
• After a couple or three days, I would fly to the places I have written about that have captivated me through other's eyes:
• Manila, Hong Kong (I would want to see the fortune tellers I have heard about there), Thailand to see Loi Kroh Road, the most mystical road in the world, and Beijing, China...to look up my good friend that I've never met, Alan Solomon.

The last of my selfish expenditures would be the purchase and creation of my own restaurant.

Called: "The Ghostwriter's Den". It will be furnished with overstuffed couches and chairs similar to Steak and Ale, with rich colors and fancy schmancy fair. All of my books would be framed and hung on the wall and other author friends would also have their books on the wall (but only if they held a book signing during the day there). The vodka martini would be called instead, "Taryn's Tini".

Once people have feasted on the finest of food, steak, chicken, seafood, sushi and more...then there would be the option of retiring to the library to read, browse books etc. while having an after dinner brandy or cordial.

ADJOINED to the "Ghostwriter's Den would be a casual place totally separated called, "The Writer's Pub". It would be a short order food place with tap beers, drink specials with tv's in every corner with either news, sports or some other interesting show.

The Pub would also feature games such as poker every night, cards, bridge, checkers, chess and other games. A great place belly up and get a cold beer and great sandwich or salad.

Who would run this operation? Gordon Ramsey...

Aaahhh, don't you love to dream? I think tomorrow I will go to the hardware store and purchase a glass doorknob to put on our bedroom door. Cause, you never know if you have a diamond or not.

More Musings Later-

I'm Getting Sick of Reality Shows

Ok, they were interesting in the beginning. You know the ones I am referring to:

• The Bachelor/Bachelorette
• American Idol
• Hell's Kitchen
• HGTV's New Host Competition
• Big Brother
• Food Channel's various reality shows

And many many more...

I am tired of the "dramatic music" the "immunity challenges" the prounouncement of "You're safe!" and the ridiculous emotions.

These challenges or games that grown men and women play seem so childish and they are totally oblivious.

I watched "The Bachelor" once. That was enough. Being a feminist, the idea of a group of grown women groveling over 1 man turned my stomach. But let's put that aside for a moment, shall we?

What absolutely killed me is that when these women were "eliminated" from the bachelor's list of his future wife, these women would discuss how they felt about being eliminated as they were being driven home.

"Oh! I was so in love with him! I'll never get over it!" the woman would wail. Huh? How long have you known him? a few days? a week maybe? Get over yourself!!!!

My favorite part though (NOT) is when the bachelor gives each bachelorette a rose so that they are "safe". (Tag, you're it. Here we go round the mulberry bush).

It goes something like this: "(insert name), Will you accept this rose?"

"Oh, Darling! Of course!!" (more groveling to ensue).

Also worth mentioning: Travis Stork's new book, "Don't be that girl". You know, the kind that go on a reality tv show and grovel over one man. Travis was the mild mannered Nashvillian doctor who was the nice guy on "The Bachelor" . I saw him on a tv show (Dr Phil) pitching the book and I thought "Hmmmm, he is dispensing advice to women about dating and relationships. Yet, he struggles with the same issues. Interesting."

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Hell's Kitchen

I still like to watch this show somewhat...although Chef Gordon Ramsey goes overboard with the antics. When he gets his group of chefs for the show, I sit and ponder, Is this really the best he could find? I'm worried if that is the case.

One show, he asked each chef to make their speciality dish. He tasted one dish and made a tormented face and threw up into a nearby garbage pail.

Yeah, we get it. The dish sucked. Do we have to see what you ate for dinner last night to get the message?

Sheesh....bring back the sitcoms. I miss All in the Family, Roseanne, and Will and Grace. Oh, don't forget my new favorites: Anthony Bourdain's Travels and Andrew Zimmer's Bizarre Foods.

More Musings Later-