P-Diddy and Rheumy-V

If you haven't picked up on it, I give nicknames to the ailments I have, hence "P-Diddy" which is short for Parkinson's Disease and "RV or Rheumy-V" for Rheumatoid Vasculitis.

Found out that in addition to the lovely Vasculitis, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis as well. I can hardly wait for the gnarling of my fingers to come! Just a little joke. And, believe me, after being on steroids for...I've lost count of how many days, I'm feeling punch drunk.

Without further adieu, some good ole' self-deprecating humor:

Contributed by Dianne Shaw, 2006

Vasculitis Humor

"It's time to take Prednisone AGAIN?

You know you have vasculitis when:

* Any conversation can suddenly turn into a round of "Charades".

* A "good hair day" is when you realize you have some left.

* You tell your kid to "clean up the floor" and they just get the broom out and start sweeping.

* You make a grocery list so you won't forget anything, and then forget where you put the list. * (On a REALLY bad day you also forget where the grocery store is!)

* You bathe the lawn, fertilize the dog, and brush the kids.

* You use the smoke detector to tell you when dinner is done.

* You try to type and discover that you've invented a whole new language.

* You keep sunscreen by every door.

* Getting some fresh air means sitting near an open shady window.

* You have a temperature and moisture-controlled room for keeping your large quantity of meds.

* You're the only one who believes you're THAT sick.

* You sit in the car for three hours wondering what you needed to do, not even sure where you are.

* Someone asks you what vasculitis is and you've forgotten.

* It takes so long to get one project done, because in the meantime you've been distracted by at least a million other things.

* You put the ice cream in the cupboard (and then wonder why somebody else did something THAT stupid).

* You know every doctor, nurse, within 50 miles of your home - AND you've financed most of their vacations.

* The pharmacist sees you coming down the aisle and doesn't even have to ask your name.

* You decide to buy stock in pharmaceutical companies (because you buy their products so much they ought to make lots of money) but you can't afford to invest (for the same reason).

Take my constricted blood vessels please! (Bah-dump-bump)

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Parkinson Disease Humor

is that dyskinesia or are you just glad to see me?" ....."I think she likes me; she's been staring at me all evening!" ......"we take drugs pretty seriously at our house".. ....."hey, looks like somebody got their prescription filled recently!" ........and I said to her, "As long as you're feeling dyskinetic, how 'bout getting started on that butter-churning"? ..........so I asked him, "Why don't we go to your place and you can show me all those child-proof containers you're always talking about?"

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Favorite T-Shirts about PD:

"I have Parkinson's not cooties"

"Levadopa, Breakfast of Champions"

Favorite Rheumatoid Arthritis T-Shirts:

"My immune system attacks itself, what does yours do?"

Ya gotta laugh, right? Time for more steroids.

More Musings Later-

The Hilarity of Parkinson's Disease

As you may or may not know, I was diagnosed with Young, Onset Parkinson's Disease several years ago. I'm now to the ripe old age of 45, and feeling every year of it cubed.


That's not to say that I don't like to have a good laugh at my own expense! I've invested quite a few dollars in t-shirt collections such as:


"I'm not getting jiggy with it, I have Parkinson's disease",

or another favorite that is short and concise:

"Parkinson's Sucks"


I finally decided to stop wearing the first shirt because all the older people at the mall thought I was making fun of Parkinson's patients. The blue hairs get mighty pissed if they think you are dissing one of their own. I can't wait to be a blue hair!


Here are some of my favorite Parkinson's moments (all true, mind you)

• I'm seated writing...the doorbell rings and I get up to answer it. I open the door and see the mailman and pass out (only for a few moments). When I come to, he leans over and says, "Sign here please."

Now THAT is funny!!!! I couldn't quit laughing and did just that as I continued laying on the floor. (fainting is a PD symptom)

• I'm at the grocery store with my partner and I'm walking like I'm drunk. She offers me the basket to hold onto as I hear a couple behind us whispering very loudly, "Oh dear, she is drunk as a skunk! It's only 1:30 pm! That is shameful!"


• I started talking to my partner rather loudly. "Can we go back to the bar now? My vodka buzz is wearing off."


• I'm at the neurologist's office. He has a sarcastic wit about him and I'm moaning and groaning about new symptoms. I keep waiting for him to say something soothing and he looks at me and deadpans: "Whaddya want? Parkinson's sucks" and he smirks. Ya gotta love'em!


• My neurologist's phone number is programmed in my phone. When I dial it, or he dials me, Michael J. Fox's picture is displayed.


• I went bowling with my partner one time and when I let the ball go down the lane, so did my body.


• When you're drunk, no one knows it.

I gotta go, my neurologist is calling me...Later