The Skank Scale

Okay, once again, I've put on my "big girl" panties and ready to move on to other subjects besides affairs of the heart. 

I would like to explore what I term, "The Skank Factor."  You've surely heard the term, haven't you?  Such as, That girl/boy is so skanky!  But what truly constitutes someone being labled "A Skank?"  I didn't invent the word, but I do like to consider myself somewhat an officianado of the term.  How do I know this?  I find myself commenting on people who appear to be, well...Skank-ish.  To me, skank is someone that appears to be unkempt in their appearance, showing too much skin and oblivious to what good taste is all about. 


Let's review some folks who I consider to be skanky, shall we?

Dancing with the Stars
The professional dancer, Edita (sp?) appears to be skanky to me.  If I were to register her skank factor on the trusty Skank Scale, she would rate a 9.  That's getting up there.  I cringe each time I see her dancing as her skankiness is so profound to me.  I'm not the authority of skank, I simply calls'em likes I sees'em.

The Neandrathal man aka, Tony, another professional dancer on this show.  His eyebrows are so prominent, it makes his eyes appear as if they are sunk into his head.  His skank factor is about a 3.  Not bad and nothing a little weed whacking can't correct.

The Bachelor
Jake - Mercy, what can we say here?  I nearly tossed my cookies when I saw him dancing in his underwear on Dancing with the Stars.  Let me elaborate on his skankiness.  He is extremely well groomed and doesn't qualify for skank based on that criteria.  His qualifying event is that he is showing too much skin and oblivious to what good taste entails.  That and he cries at the drop of a hat.  Thus, he is a double-decker:  A Skanky-Cry Baby.  He rates 15 on the 1 through 10 scale. 

Actors (Men)
Men that refuse to shave daily posess a bit of skankiness in my book.  You know the look, the 5 o'clock shadow, the stubble, the look that they haven't had a shower in a week.  Pure unadulterated SKANK.

Some of the worst offenders:  Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Alec Baldwin.  The funny thing is, when they make a movie as a romantic lead, they shed their skankiness as a snake sheds it's skin.  Therefore, I rate them as Skank on a sliding scale.  Alec Baldwin rates differently:  I would rate him a Belly Buster-Crappy Daddy-Skank master.  He qualifies on all levels.

Women
Some women qualify on different levels.  For example, Pamela Anderson; she is well-groomed, but I think she presents the wrong idea about herself.  Her animal rights contributions are often overlooked because of this.  Her skankiness is about a 2.  Button up your blouse, Pamela and show the world your humanitarian efforts.

Me:  While I am well groomed, I consider myself to be somewhat skanky.  Why?  I need to shave my legs.  I'm glad I'm not on Dancing with the Stars.  Between my hairy legs and Neandrathal Man's eyebrows, we would tip the Skanky scale at a Follicle Phenomenon Skank Twins. 

More Musings Later-

The Power of an Internet Connection

The old adage, "Breaking up is Hard to Do," has given new meaning in the last several weeks to me.  While I feel myself getting stronger little by little each day, I also find that licking those wounds is an important part of the process of moving on. 

I hadn't heard from a friend of mine in quite some time and decided to send an email giving the news of my breakup.  The next day, lo and behold, she responds and states that she is in the same predictament.  So, amid packing, boxes and broken dreams, she emailed me the sorrow she was going through and I knew all too well what she was feeling.  Somehow, seeing an email from me stating my bad news to her allowed her to share her bad news with me.  And, so it goes...we've been emailing each other with renewed commitment to stay in touch. 

Distance is a funny thing.  My friend lives a fair distance away from me, yet the miles don't seem so numerous as we communicate via email.  Then again, when I was hanging on to a relationship that was dead, that distance between me and my ex seemed to be far and wide, despite our close proximity.

It made me think of an old Ray Steven's tune that no one should have to relate to; "Isn't it lonely together?"

More Musings Later-

Thou Shalt NOT!!!!

I heard that beginner phrase alot when I was growing up in southeast Texas.  I mean ALOT. 

Yes, I grew up in the stereotypical Bible-thumping south frought with sinners, humid weather and tele-evangelist personalities.  As a result, I learned some lessons very early in life while others who grew up in a more urban existence most likely struggle with determining who is a geniune spirit and those who are not. 

I was one of those teenagers who for the most part, really didn't rebel against being grounded, my parents, not being able to do things at a certain age etc.  My big resentment was growing up in a small town with seemingly judgemental neighbors.  As a rebel with a cause, my appearance became associated with the look of someone who was just a bit rough around the edges.  And, this town hadn't seen much of that since Janis Joplin left.  Make no mistake, I'm not comparing myself to Janis, however, the chip we had on our shoulders were amazingly similar.

As I watched tv the other evening, it caused me to think about my self-inflicted war with my old neighborhood.  The harsh judgements and assuming guilt instead of innocense.  The conversation that sparked this reflection jolted me into the past some 30 years ago.

 "In Leviticus it says: 'If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.'

Dear God, if I heard that once I heard it a million times.  On school trips which included overnight stays, extracirricular activities and so on.  After spouting the "truth" my visible response is pretty much the same today as it was then.  Pure puzzlement. 

I offer scripture to prove MY point:

 Some religious liberals believe that David and Jonathan had a consensual homosexual relationship - in many ways, a prototype of many of today's gay partnerships. 7 Some important verses which describe their relationship are: 1 Samuel 18:1


"...Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself." (NIV)

"...the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul" (KJV)

Most translations use the term "soul" rather than "spirit" to describe the bond. They speak of an "immediate bond of love", their souls being "in unison," their souls being "knit" etc. Genesis 2:7, as written in the original Hebrew, describes how God blew the spirit into the body of Adam that God had formed from earth, so that Adam became a living soul. This means that "soul", in the ancient Israelite times, represents a combination of body and spirit. Thus the two men appear to have loved each other both physically and emotionally." http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bmar.htm

When you love someone completely and commit to be their spouse in good times and bad; that sounds like a union blessed, not a sin.  But, that's just me.  Oh, got one more scripture for you:

For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience?"


--- 1 Corinthians 10:29

More Musings Later-

So Much BS, So Little Time-

Sorry for the lateness of my official "First Post of 2010."  It's not that I didn't WANT to blog, I've been up to my backend in work, suddenly.  That's a good thing.  I'm barely keeping up, but need to.  So, I'm happy about that.  :D

Now, a few things have transpired since my last blog and I have been mocking my own television with frustration as I finish work for clients.  Here are some of them:

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THE END OF REGULAR NFL SEASON - TENNESSEE TITANS

They have one more game to play and "can't think of a reason to really play hard since they were eliminated from the playoffs..."

My Suggestion:  How about playing for those 6-7 zeros that are in FRONT of the decimal point that you are paid each year?  Don't even get me started. 

Other Thoughts:  Jeff Fisher's hair is too dark.  Quit dying it Black shoe polish.  Try a medium brown, you know, like the kind you have always had except for the last 6 games.

Please retire Kerry Collins.  He looks tired and he's not getting the hint that he is a BACKUP quarterback at best, not a starter. 

Can someone interpret for Chris Johnson when he is interviewed?  He is a spectacular athlete, I just can't understand what he is saying.  It looks like it might be pretty good since he shakes his dread locks at the end of each statement and laughs. 

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Lane Kiffin Quits UT and goes to USC - Knoxville Riots

First of all, why would anyone riot?  The guy is an idiot and not too tightly wrapped.  So what?  He went to USC where there is better weather and better money for sure.  And, I'm willing to bet there aren't any criminals on the team either. When the crowd (after rioting and burning hate messages into the grass etc. for Lane) settled down. 

The local news interviewed a few people about his sudden departure.
One twenty-something male said, "He's an A**hole!  If you ain't a UT Volunteer, You ain't NUTHIN!"

My Thoughts: "Dear boy, believe it or not, there is a great big ole world outside of those goalposts in Knoxville, TN.  I promise.  You should venture out sometime.  Really."  NOW:  He's an A**hole for leaving Tennessee?  Give me a break!  I love where I live and love Tennessee.  But, if I am a younger person and have the opportunity to get a job where I know I will like it and get the perks of : Great weather, GREAT money and a GREAT school.  You're telling me you would turn that down?  I'm sorry, but you're an idiot.  Get over youself.  

Meanwhile, in Nashville, TN, they are voting on an Education bill where children are flunking basic courses.  Breaking news is flooding my email about Lane Kiffin.  PEOPLE:  WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT, LANE KIFFIN OR EDUCATION IN THE STATE OF TENNESSEE?  Wait, don't answer that.  Sheesh.
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Here's to: THE BACHELOR, HIGH SCHOOL REUNION, AMERICAN IDOL and all the other reality shows. 

My Thoughts:  I DON'T CARE.  ENOUGH ALREADY.

Happy 2010 Everyone.

More Musings Later-

Finding Me

Facebook is a clever tool. I've been finding college friends, teachers, old co-workers and others. Each time I see their pictures, the memories flood back to me. It's like looking through a time capsule of each person I've known. Sometimes the person they are today is exactly as I expected, sometimes it's a total shock.

This one person that I found falls into the category of shock for me. In college, she was the life of the party, had a fantastic sense of humor and had that intangible something extra special that some call "it." Not that she still doesn't have these qualities...I'm sure she does. She has just taken a 180 degree turn in the direction of her life. Again, not bad, just very different.

Somehow, she saw something in me as a music student that she was able to mold. I was 12 years old when I first met her. I was in awe of her, wishing I could be exactly like her. She was talented, great with people, funny and admired by countless other music students. And, I was her student. I didn't have much confidence in myself then and she helped me to discover that I was good at something. I felt that we were the antithesis of each other.

When I competed for musical awards, everyone of stature knew I was her student. When they heard me play, I remember to this day the way they looked at me. The next thing I knew, I was a 12 year old sitting in a college level class for music. With each achievement, my confidence grew. It formed my identity. When I wasn't supposed to hear, I would overhear judges and other teachers whisper, There goes her student.

Those experiences are a huge part of who I am today, even though I'm not a practicing musician any longer. Those childhood experiences with music helped me have the courage to audition at Juilliard in New York, play for operas, musicals, symphonies, marching and pop bands. I had a wondrous and complete education in music, life and myself.

Juilliard's late, great Saul Goodman with his crank tympani invention that I actually auditioned on that fateful day of March 3, 1980. Incidentally, Gene Krupa was his student.

I have been wanting to thank this person for many years. I was unable to locate a mailing address or email address until I saw her on Facebook. I finally thanked her. It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but she is clearly owed a thank you from me and perhaps more. And, I gave it.

One teacher I had signed my yearbook with these sage words:

I hope you got something out of your musical education besides the music itself.

I did.

More Musings Later-

"The Mango Tree Cafe, Loi Kroh Road" Wins Award!

Well, Kids; I can now say that Alan Solomon and I have written an Award Winning Book!

So, I am proud to announce that "The Mango Tree Cafe, Loi Kroh Road" has WON in the following category: Best Online Marketing. As a result, I will be receiving a gold medal and the book will be categorized as a winning novel, along with the info below:

Finalists and Winners will also receive:A listing in the 2008 Next Generation Indie Book Awards Catalog which will be distributed to book buyers, media, and others! Exposure for a full year at http://www.indiebookawards.com/ as a Winner.

PLUS, the top 70 books will be reviewed by New York literary agent Marilyn Allen of Allen O'Shea Literary Agency or one of Ms. Allen's co-agents for possible representation in areas such as distribution, foreign rights, film rights, and other rights.

Ms. Allen has over 25 years of sales and marketing experience, including serving as Senior Vice President, Associate Publisher, and Director of Marketing for Harper Collins and directing sales and marketing teams for Simon & Schuster, Penguin Books and Avon Books.

Ms. Allen has had the pleasure of working with many best-selling authors including Stephen King, Ken Follett, Barbara Kingsolver, John Gray, Mary Higgins Clark, and many more.

Alan and I wish to thank YOU for being an important part of this award!

Cheers!

More Musings Later-

COMING SOON...

Are you ready for a virtual book signing with one author in BEIJING, CHINA and the other in NASHVILLE, TN USA?

Alan Solomon - Beijing, China Taryn Simpson - Nashville, TN USA

Read more about the book here: THE MANGO TREE CAFE, LOI KROH ROAD

STAY TUNED

If I Did It, by OJ Simpson

If I Did It...

I wouldn't smirk for my mug shot

I wouldn't sign autographs before and after my court arraignment

I wouldn't write a book detailing the gruesome details of how I murdered my ex-wife and her friend.

I wouldn't be able to look my children in the face after what I had done.

I wouldn't do television appearances to "clear my good name".

I wouldn't break into a hotel room with my friends armed with guns demanding my memorabilia.

I wouldn't involve myself in another relationship. Especially with a woman that favors my previous murder victim.

I would request to stay in jail instead of posting bail.

I would want to die from the guilt and pain I've caused so many others.

But that's me.

Closing Thought: Leave the "IF" out of it. He did it and the blood he spilled will forever stain his hands and his soul.

More Musings Later-

The Mango Tree Cafe, Loi Kroh Road Book Trailer is on YouTube!