It was the Best of Times...Oh, Who Am I Kidding?

2010 without a doubt, has been the mother of all years for me.  And, it seems that this pinnacle year began to flex it's muscle almost immediately.

While it seems that 2010 has ground my emotions and psyche up like hamburger meat, I've taken a look around and I'm not the only one.  People that have been involved in longstanding relationships are now standing as one.  The usual is now unusual and the norm is now on it's ear. 

It's been strange to observe all that has happened and that is happening as I speak.  As for living my life, it has been difficult at best as I find myself struggling to find "my new normal."  The end of this traumatic year has my attention and my thoughts.  I can only wonder what is ahead in 2011.

Whatever it is, I hope the path is a bit more level and that we can all find our new normal.

More Musings Later-

Letting Go

This morning, I got up to the smell of Fall.  And, when I think of Fall, I immediately think of changes.  Both literally to the weather and to each of our lives. 

Think about it, Fall is when the new school year begins, learning new things, reading and listening to new writers and music.  It's football season, ordering or chopping wood for the fireplace, thinking about the holidays that will spiral out of control and be here before you know it, shopping for sweaters and coats all in preparation for the Fall season.

Not only is it an onslaught of "newness," it's also a time for letting go.  Although the give and take of letting go should be done seamlessly throughout our lives, if you're like me, it's a struggle and causes noticeable commotion within our lives.  I bet it wouldn't even take the game of 6 degrees of separation to find people who have lost or gained a relationship, felt the loss of a child and gained the presence of an adult in their place.  Perhaps it is the loss of self without anyone or thing to replace it.  Or, the worst case scenario, the loss of emotion which leaves the soul dry and brittled for the length of life.

On the other side of the coin, I find it interesting that when a brave soul is able to expose their innermost feelings either personally or to an audience, you will undoubtedly find people cringing at this display.  Is it because they have never felt these emotions of letting go and don't know what to make of it?  I'm betting no.  I think it edges too closely to the barriers we all have that protects our vulnerability. 

No one is perfect and it is usually pointed out quite graphically during one's school years.  Whether it's bullies who have their way with those who resemble their insecurities the most, or those who don't measure up to the school's most popular, athletic, best looking etc,  we're all taught to protect our shortcomings with our life.  Enter stage left, Fear of revealing Self. 

It's a shame, really.  Instead of wincing when observing the act of letting go, we should be applauding it.  The smell of Fall is upon us.  It's time for Letting Go. 

Don't wince, embrace it.  Life is awful boring when all of your time is spent protecting yourself.

More Musings Later-

 

A Smattering of Musings

It's been a long while since I last posted.  Yes, I am guilty of getting caught up in living.  I also noticed that I'm sick of looking at a dark blog.  While some of the things I post about are serious or dark, it makes sense to have a dark color draped over the words to set a mood.

Well, I'm sick of dark moods.  While I have struggled with 2010 thus far, I am ready to take the boxing gloves off.  I'm punch drunk and ready for peacefulness to ensue.  Fighting an invisible foe is exhausting.   So, I am dedicating myself to finding the lighter side of life and doing some much needed reflection. 

Life is different and change is inevitable.  All I know is that I have been preparing for change long before I was conscious of it.  As they say, the only constant in life is "Death, Taxes and Change."  Amen.

So, look for lighter posts in the future.  To coin Maya Angelou's title; "My arms are too short to box with God."

Goodnight Mrs. Callabash, wherever you are.

More Musings Later-

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

That old David Bowie song is floating through my mind these days...why?

Because out of the blue, my partner and I have a burr up our butts to re-decorate our home. Complete with painting and re-arranging furniture. Anytime you move your surroundings, that means that changes are happening within yourself.


Change is always good....at least, I like to think so. We're also feeling more settled and ahem...older. Instead of Melissa Ethridge or Bon Jovi rocking our world, it's now David Bromstead (of HGTV fame). I'll let you know the changes as I discover them....it will feel much like looking for 4 leaf clovers!

David Bromstead of HGTV (isn't he gorgeous?)

Let's face it, my life doesn't exactly suck. I have a job that I absolutely ADORE, I make enough money to pay my bills, I love my partner dearly and my beloved animals and I feel...comfortable. I have what I need and have more than I thought I would ever have in my life.


Life is good.





More Musings Later-