The Skank Scale

Okay, once again, I've put on my "big girl" panties and ready to move on to other subjects besides affairs of the heart. 

I would like to explore what I term, "The Skank Factor."  You've surely heard the term, haven't you?  Such as, That girl/boy is so skanky!  But what truly constitutes someone being labled "A Skank?"  I didn't invent the word, but I do like to consider myself somewhat an officianado of the term.  How do I know this?  I find myself commenting on people who appear to be, well...Skank-ish.  To me, skank is someone that appears to be unkempt in their appearance, showing too much skin and oblivious to what good taste is all about. 


Let's review some folks who I consider to be skanky, shall we?

Dancing with the Stars
The professional dancer, Edita (sp?) appears to be skanky to me.  If I were to register her skank factor on the trusty Skank Scale, she would rate a 9.  That's getting up there.  I cringe each time I see her dancing as her skankiness is so profound to me.  I'm not the authority of skank, I simply calls'em likes I sees'em.

The Neandrathal man aka, Tony, another professional dancer on this show.  His eyebrows are so prominent, it makes his eyes appear as if they are sunk into his head.  His skank factor is about a 3.  Not bad and nothing a little weed whacking can't correct.

The Bachelor
Jake - Mercy, what can we say here?  I nearly tossed my cookies when I saw him dancing in his underwear on Dancing with the Stars.  Let me elaborate on his skankiness.  He is extremely well groomed and doesn't qualify for skank based on that criteria.  His qualifying event is that he is showing too much skin and oblivious to what good taste entails.  That and he cries at the drop of a hat.  Thus, he is a double-decker:  A Skanky-Cry Baby.  He rates 15 on the 1 through 10 scale. 

Actors (Men)
Men that refuse to shave daily posess a bit of skankiness in my book.  You know the look, the 5 o'clock shadow, the stubble, the look that they haven't had a shower in a week.  Pure unadulterated SKANK.

Some of the worst offenders:  Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Alec Baldwin.  The funny thing is, when they make a movie as a romantic lead, they shed their skankiness as a snake sheds it's skin.  Therefore, I rate them as Skank on a sliding scale.  Alec Baldwin rates differently:  I would rate him a Belly Buster-Crappy Daddy-Skank master.  He qualifies on all levels.

Women
Some women qualify on different levels.  For example, Pamela Anderson; she is well-groomed, but I think she presents the wrong idea about herself.  Her animal rights contributions are often overlooked because of this.  Her skankiness is about a 2.  Button up your blouse, Pamela and show the world your humanitarian efforts.

Me:  While I am well groomed, I consider myself to be somewhat skanky.  Why?  I need to shave my legs.  I'm glad I'm not on Dancing with the Stars.  Between my hairy legs and Neandrathal Man's eyebrows, we would tip the Skanky scale at a Follicle Phenomenon Skank Twins. 

More Musings Later-

The Power of an Internet Connection

The old adage, "Breaking up is Hard to Do," has given new meaning in the last several weeks to me.  While I feel myself getting stronger little by little each day, I also find that licking those wounds is an important part of the process of moving on. 

I hadn't heard from a friend of mine in quite some time and decided to send an email giving the news of my breakup.  The next day, lo and behold, she responds and states that she is in the same predictament.  So, amid packing, boxes and broken dreams, she emailed me the sorrow she was going through and I knew all too well what she was feeling.  Somehow, seeing an email from me stating my bad news to her allowed her to share her bad news with me.  And, so it goes...we've been emailing each other with renewed commitment to stay in touch. 

Distance is a funny thing.  My friend lives a fair distance away from me, yet the miles don't seem so numerous as we communicate via email.  Then again, when I was hanging on to a relationship that was dead, that distance between me and my ex seemed to be far and wide, despite our close proximity.

It made me think of an old Ray Steven's tune that no one should have to relate to; "Isn't it lonely together?"

More Musings Later-

The Magic of a Memoir

There isn't any doubt in my mind that everyone has thought about writing or having their memoirs written. If for no other reason, but to announce to the world, "Hey, I was here. And, it mattered to someone."

A memoir to me is sort of like a written document that recants your life and puts the period at the end of the sentence of life. One of the very first memoirs I wrote for a client was meant for something more than this. Much more than this.

I remember a young fellow named Jason Walker of Thomasville, GA emailed me about writing his memoirs. When we first began chatting online, I silently wondered why he wanted to write a memoir when he was only 20 something? As he began to tell his story, I found out that he is one of the oldest if not oldest living survivor of Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy. He is a quadreplegic and relies on machines and oxygen tanks to keep him alive.

As I coached him on what he needed to do, he studiously began gathering materials and began to recount stories from his past to me. I wrote at night so I could write for paying gigs during the day. Before we knew it, the book was done. I got to know his mom, his sister and brother-in-law and his niece, Ray his caregiver and his journalist friend in Florida all through his stories. I was also schooled on the perfection of Florida State football.

When I finally got the book published, I asked why he wanted the book written so badly. He stated that he wanted to give other people hope that were going through difficult times. If after reading this book, you're not inspired and humbled, then I don't know what will do it for you. He had mentioned that after he's gone, his dream is for the book to continue selling so that his Mom and Dad can receive the royalties to help out with the mounting medical bills he's accrued through the years.

Well, he befriended me and my partner, Mindy Schwartz. She began working with him on marketing the book and he was thrilled. So, our aim is to make sure that Jason's book continues to sell. 100% of the royalties will go to Jason's parents for financial assistance.

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that Jason Walker, co-author of "Missing My Body" passed away March 16, 2009 at 9:30pm.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I choose to remember Jason through his own words which will live on:

Make no mistake about it, my life is consumed with worry and contemplation, but it is also consumed with love and joy for this life.

Most people that suffer from a debilitating disease are “stuck” at the first phase of their limitations. If that were the case with me, then this would be the final chapter to this book. So, it is with a very conscience effort that this detail about my life occurs at the beginning of my book. There will be recounting of physical limitations and surgeries and so on throughout the book, but I feel it is imperative that you understand that these events are intertwined with loving, caring family and friends and my beloved animals.

There is a quote that likens my situation to that of a horse race: “Each handicap is like a hurdle in steeplechase, and when you ride up to it, if you throw your heart over, the horse will go along too.”[1]

That is how I choose to live my life, as fluid and graceful, as my body is stiff and confined.

Jason Walker

http://www.emailthis.clickability.com/et/emailThis?clickMap=viewThis&etMailToID=1855070906

[1] Laura Moncur’s Motivational Quotations – by Lawrence BixbyMore Musings Later-

Talking to School Kids?

Yep, I'm currently exploring the idea of talking to kids...about what? About writing and about freelancing. God, I wish someone had done that when I was growing up. I had no idea that a life that I'm living now was possible back then.


But then again, I wonder if I would appreciate my writing career as much as I do today. Let's face it, being a refugee from Corporate America makes you grateful for being able to breathe. I don't know...I just think that kids need to see that there are ways of being successful that don't necessarily fit in a cookie cutter profile.


I mean after all, here I am. A published author who writes for a living. Am I rich? Financially, Hardly. Am I wealthy with knowledge and experience? You bet. Do I wear pin stripes each day to work? Well, maybe pin striped pajamas or sweats.

Life can be messy. Kids need to know that writing and other types of freelancing professions that aren't "typical" are possible. It's just a thought...but then again, I get paid to write those thoughts down.

More Musings Later-

The Mango Tree Cafe', Loi Kroh Road

Every once in a blue moon, an absolute gift presents itself. Such is mine in the form of a book entitled, "The Mango Tree Cafe', Loi Kroh Road".

As a ghostwriter, I have enjoyed the process of writing and rewriting various books for clients all over the country. But (you knew it was coming, didn't you?) I have to say that I was not prepared for the pleasant surprise I received recently.

A colleague of mine asked if I would be interested in helping a client with his book. I read the first chapter and was amazed. It was written with the same type eloquent prose reminiscent of"And a River Runs Through It," but needed just a bit of polish.

Lovely surprise #2: The client asked if I would be interested in co-writing this book with him. My response was a lightening speed YES! The challenge? Although he is a native New Zealander, he is located in Beijing, China while I am located in Nashville, TN, USA.

The Internet is an amazing piece of technology to be sure. So readers, please follow 2 authors' located worlds apart on the progress on this fascinating book. You can read more about "The Mango Tree Cafe', Loi Kroh Road" and how it reduced me to tears at the end.

It is a poignant, beautifully written book. And, one that you will never forget.

That's a promise. Spread the word.

The Secret to My Success Interview

Linda Della Donna from New York interviewed me a couple of days ago and she asked some really intriguing questions.

Read all about it: Thanks, Linda!