I've had the joy and the priviledge to share this wondrous, yet painful path with my best friend. She began her journey healthy as a horse and in later years became arthritic, anxious and started the painful path of dementia. There is nothing more painful than looking within the familiar eyes of recognition and finding a hopelessly lost gaze struggling to recall any hint of memory as they return your stare.
Last night was enough to crush my heart. I watched my best friend wander from room to room, a perpetual lost look in her eyes and screaming in pain if her body was touched in certain places. When I tried to comfort her, the sound of my voice fell upon deaf ears and my familiar gaze lost upon failing eyesight. As she paced and paced, I knew her quality of life was as diminshed as her memory.
The next morning, I called the doctor and made arrangements. I helped her into the car one last time and the doctor came in with the injection. As my friend laid down on the examining table, I held her head and kissed her on the side of her face. I told her how beautiful and loving she was and that I would always love her. For a rare moment, her big brown eyes looked at me with recognition and understanding and then as I held her, the light that was so brilliant in her eyes, slowly faded into darkness.
Today, February 22, 2010, I put down my beloved beagle, "Baby." I had her from the time she was 8 weeks old to the ripe age of 13 years and 9 months. If I could wish for one thing in her honor, it would be that people would donate food and supplies to your local Humane Society shelters.
Rest in Peace, Baby Simpson
May 1, 1996 - February 22, 2010
2 comments:
Dearest Taryn,
Deepest condolences, and sincerest best wishes for what I lovingly refer to as "mourning" joy. How sad.
Send me a post, along with a photo at linda@griefcase.net
I'll be sure to place it at www.griefcase.net
Linda Della Donna
www.griefcase.net
Oh, Taryn...I'm so sorry. When I read this I started bawling. A few weeks ago I had to have my best friend Charlie (17 yrs, a humane society dog) put to sleep for the very same reasons. He was so lost, deaf, nearly blind, arthritic. I wanted him alive for ME, & I realized this was selfish. The part that hurt the most? Holding him that one last night,thinking, "okay, we have 8 more hours together...we have one more hour together...30 minutes together"...taking pictures of his ears, his nose, his eyes, his little feet...clipping locks of his hair so I'd still have a part of him with me. And I will never wash his blanket because I want to bury my face in it forever.
I have a whole album here on facebook dedicated to Charlie. And I'm still crying...for Charlie & Baby, for you & I. Thanks for sharing this. And yes, I give to several societies for unwanted animals, wildlife, etc. I'm going to volunteer for an animal rescue group in Seguin (ARA)with pet adoptions, transporting pets from different cities to the rescue facility, etc...I got the okay today from one of the women who heads the rescue facility...and I'm already looking on that group's website for another dog. Scout is lonely & she needs another friend.Much love...Wendy C.
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