What was YOUR Childhood Catch Phrases?

These are some of mine from parents and grandparents:

"Don't dispute my word!"

"You are impossible!"

"Go to your room and think about what you've done!"

"Go outside and pick me a switch!"

"Get me a rattail comb, Dippity Doo and V-05. Don't forget the Aqua Net!"

"Your ears are so dirty, you could grow mushrooms in there!"

"If you tattle on your sister, YOU will get in trouble!"

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

"Braid or pony tail?"

"If you can remember all these facts about David Cassidy, you can do well in school too."

"The very idea!"

"Don't count your chickens before they've hatched"

"Problems are like white meat...the more you chew on it, the bigger it gets."

"Get up there durn ya, 'fore I eat ya!"

"I see said the blind man to his deaf and dumb dog"

From Me:

"Don't tell me you're broke! You have a box full of checks!"

"I may be little, but my problem is as big as me!"

"I no lady, I Taryn!" (priceless to this day)

"Kiss me you fool!"

"Daddy, what does F**k mean?"

"But Why??????"



Try coming up with your own catch phrases. They'll make you smile.

More Musings Later-

COMING SOON...

Are you ready for a virtual book signing with one author in BEIJING, CHINA and the other in NASHVILLE, TN USA?

Alan Solomon - Beijing, China Taryn Simpson - Nashville, TN USA

Read more about the book here: THE MANGO TREE CAFE, LOI KROH ROAD

STAY TUNED

The Freedom to be Free - Do YOU have it?

Some people are naturally built that way. Are you sitting in your living room or kitchen right now? Boom! The idea of flying to Vegas or going to the Cape popping in your mind? Just like that?

Usually not me. Although, that is what I am working towards. I want to be financially secure enough to wake up one morning and say, "Gee, I want to get into a great poker game tonight....I think I will go to Vegas."

Let's face it, the flights are fairly cheap. With comps, the hotel can be cheap. I just don't think about doing that sort of thing over the weekend. It wouldn't be responsible of me.

Do you fancy yourself lying on a tropical beach? There are plenty of places to go within the US. Namely, KEY WEST, FLORIDA.

The ghostwriting has been very very generous to me these last couple of months. If I can save up enough, I may just try these long weekend trips.

Why not?

More Musings Later-

The Hilarity of Parkinson's Disease

As you may or may not know, I was diagnosed with Young, Onset Parkinson's Disease several years ago. I'm now to the ripe old age of 45, and feeling every year of it cubed.


That's not to say that I don't like to have a good laugh at my own expense! I've invested quite a few dollars in t-shirt collections such as:


"I'm not getting jiggy with it, I have Parkinson's disease",

or another favorite that is short and concise:

"Parkinson's Sucks"


I finally decided to stop wearing the first shirt because all the older people at the mall thought I was making fun of Parkinson's patients. The blue hairs get mighty pissed if they think you are dissing one of their own. I can't wait to be a blue hair!


Here are some of my favorite Parkinson's moments (all true, mind you)

• I'm seated writing...the doorbell rings and I get up to answer it. I open the door and see the mailman and pass out (only for a few moments). When I come to, he leans over and says, "Sign here please."

Now THAT is funny!!!! I couldn't quit laughing and did just that as I continued laying on the floor. (fainting is a PD symptom)

• I'm at the grocery store with my partner and I'm walking like I'm drunk. She offers me the basket to hold onto as I hear a couple behind us whispering very loudly, "Oh dear, she is drunk as a skunk! It's only 1:30 pm! That is shameful!"


• I started talking to my partner rather loudly. "Can we go back to the bar now? My vodka buzz is wearing off."


• I'm at the neurologist's office. He has a sarcastic wit about him and I'm moaning and groaning about new symptoms. I keep waiting for him to say something soothing and he looks at me and deadpans: "Whaddya want? Parkinson's sucks" and he smirks. Ya gotta love'em!


• My neurologist's phone number is programmed in my phone. When I dial it, or he dials me, Michael J. Fox's picture is displayed.


• I went bowling with my partner one time and when I let the ball go down the lane, so did my body.


• When you're drunk, no one knows it.

I gotta go, my neurologist is calling me...Later

Democrats are faced with a very important decision

Hillary or Obama?

What's your take? We are faced in this country with 2 "firsts" in this election. The first woman president and the first black president possibility. And, it appears that the country is really wrestling with these two choices.

Personally, I'm backing Hillary. Not just because she is a woman. Here are my reasons:

She is smart. Dare I say, smarter than Bill Clinton and that is really something.

She has been investigated almost the entire 8 years that she was first lady. There are no more surprises. She's been though it, and we all know her skeletons.

She has a passion to straighten out health care. She tried to overhaul the healthcare industry in 93, but the Washington cronies weren't about to have a first lady tackle such a "Presidential" task.

She comes with a built in advisor, former president Bill Clinton. Our country is in such disarray, she is going to need all the resources available to her.

She has pledged to take away corporate america's tax incentives if they ship jobs overseas.

It took a Clinton to clean up Bush Sr's mess and it will take a Clinton to clean up after Jr's mess.

During the Clinton years, we had a paid off debt with a surplus of funds to boot. People were employed, the stock market was booming and people weren't worried about losing their home.

Hillary and Barack

I'm not sure about Obama. The press is reluctant to expose his skeletons. I'm not sure why...the probing questions just aren't there like they were for Hillary. He's a talented orator to be sure, but I just have a nagging feeling there is more to the story than he lets on. Yet, he is doing the traditional politics crap that they all do. Yet, he isn't called on it. Why?
Either way....do the right thing and vote for your choice.

More Musings Later-

Some Nashville Musicians are getting "Too Big for their Britches"

At least, that is how my grandmother would sum things up.

For those of you that live somewhere other than Nashville, Kix Brooks, 1/2 of the popular Country duo Brooks and Dunn made some comments that Fan Fair (CMA Fest) is in danger of losing Nashville as it's hosting city.

Why? It's absolute greed on the part of these musicians. Believe me, I'm all for artists getting paid for their work. But these artists, especially the more well-known acts are pitching a fit because they won't be paid to perform at Fan Fair.

Brooks's argument is that the Country artists are having to turn down paying gigs for that one weekend that pay $600,000 in order to perform at Fan Fair for free.

He goes on to say that he realizes that Fan Fair is a chance to "give back to the fans" but Gee Whiz, "Every day is Fan Fair for our fans...we are constantly signing autographs every day..."

Kix Brooks performing before thousands of adoring fans - What a hardship.

Hmmmm...let me see. So, Mr. Brooks is claiming hardship due to signing autographs. That tells me one thing. Mr. Brooks is totally out of touch with the public. I don't know what hardship he could be talking about...C'mon, every act in Nashville is missing out on $600,000 for that one weekend?

Mr. Brooks gave us the cons for appearing for the few hours designated for Fan Fair, but here are the pros:

1. The artists live in Nashville, they wouldn't have to travel

2. It's great publicity for their upcoming album

3. FREE exposure

4. They get to meet the people that put food on their table, pay their bills and basically allow them to enjoy the lifestyle that they do.

5. See #4

6. See #4

7. See #4

8. See #4

9. See #4

10. It takes so little to make the fans happy. A few minutes of conversation, shaking of hands and a 5 song set isn't too much to ask.

What a grind it must be to meet your fans.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Kix Brooks. Perhaps you should earn the same living that your fans do to learn how fortunate you really are.

More Musings Later-

Of COURSE! A Beagle WON!

I watched the news today and hooted when I saw that Uno, the beagle won the Westminster Dog Best in Show!

I have proudly owned 2 beagles myself, and I will tell you, they are noisy, mouthy, hilarious, full of personality, loving and good with people and kids. Oh, and Stubborn....did I mention that? Not just stubborn. I'm talking S T U B B O R N!!!!!!

That's ok, now the beagle will have renewed popularity as America's favorite dog.

Now, I ask you, here is a shot of Uno. He's beautiful, I know. Perfect in every way. But which is cuter? Uno or my beagle, Baby?? You already know my vote.

Uno the champion beagle on top, and My Baby Simpson below!


More Musings Later-

Barry Piggott, Barry Piggott, Where For Art Thou?

Okay, sue me. I was trying a little Shakespearean prose without much success!

You're probably wondering just who in the hell is Barry Piggott? You're also probably wondering if that last name is real. I mean really....Piggott?

To answer your first question: Barry Piggott was a childhood friend of mine that I met through my sister. She had a little band that consisted of keyboards (my sister), Bass (a friend of hers, Bob) and drums (Barry Piggott). I remember they would rehearse in our living room and I thought it was so cool when they played together.

The reason Barry made such an impression on me is that he was the youngest in the group, he was awfully cute, and he was a drummer, the same as me. For a teenage boy of 14 or 15, he was exceedingly easy to talk to. So, we grew into fast friends although I kept my huge crush on him a secret!

So whatever happened to Barry Piggott?

He is living in the Beaumont/Port Arthur Texas area and he is a professional musician. He plays a variety of instruments with his main instruments being keyboards and harmonica (or harp) as well as singing lead. He favors R & B and Rock-n-Roll as is the tradition of music in that area.

Barry Piggott

C'mon, you know the musicians to come out of the Golden Triangle: Janis Joplin, Edgar Winter, Johnny Winter, songwriter Don Rollins (It's 5 O'clock Somewhere) , George Jones, Clay Walker, Mark Chesnutt, Tracy Byrd, Jerry LaCroix and a host of others.

Barry with Jerry LaCroix, former lead singer of Blood Sweat & Tears

It's funny, I found out that Barry has a 15 year old son now and my God, it's like looking at his father 30 years ago. Right down to the hair-do! He even plays a shiny blue set of drums. History is repeating itself!

The Piggotts are a talented family. Barry's father, Johnny Piggott is a lifelong musician in his own right and plays a mean guitar. He often sits in with his son and sings backup. I can remember many a weekend spending time at the Piggotts' house watching Barry practice and Johnny coaching his band. Oh, and there is one more Piggott musician, little brother David who was 3 years old when I knew him. He now plays bass for Monte Montgomery and travels all over the world.

David Piggott all grown up!

Another shot of David

Question #2: Yes, Piggott is their real name! I was always so glad all the guys were thin...Porky Piggott is such an unkind nickname.

I've tried to hook up with Barry several times, but it just hasn't worked out as he doesn't have internet connection.

Thanks for the memories, Barry.

More Musings Later-

I'm Taryn Simpson, and I approve this Message

Is anyone else getting sick of the politics that are going around yet? Jeez my knees we're in February and we got 9 more months of this crap. Thank God for "I love Lucy" reruns and "Golden Girls" on Lifetime. Sheesh.


It must be really intense though to be a political candidate for the President of the United States, though. The power trip must be the big allure....I know it's not the money. You can't hardly be president unless you have a decent bankroll. Even though I hate politics of any form, I still try to picture what I would do if I were a candidate.

I envision George Stephanopolous grilling me on ABC news.


George: So, Taryn...what made you decide to join the presidential race?

Taryn: Well, I was driving along the coast of California and it was so beautiful...the sun was just starting to set and I thought how lucky I am to see this magnificient scenery....


George: Uh, Taryn? you haven't answered my question.


Taryn: It worked for Reagan, didn't it?


George: What would be the first thing you would do if elected to office?


Taryn: I would ban everyone from wearing suits. Sneakers would be the shoe of choice and Fridays would be "PJ Day". No exceptions.


George: What would be your foreign policy?


Taryn: When a dignitary visits from another country, we would sit down and play a game of poker. Texas Hold'em preferably. That's to show I mean business. Then, when I win, I would split a hot fudge sundae with them. Just so there's no hard feelings.


George: Are you up for the grueling hours it takes to be President?


Taryn: Absolutely not. I'm old. I need naps. And beware to the Secret Service agent that wakes me out of a sound sleep. If something happens in the middle of the night, I'll deal with it in the morning.


George: I'm guessing you would utilize Camp David for working vacations?


Taryn: Working and Vacation don't belong in the same sentence. My vacation spot would change from Camp David to Key West.


George: I know you're a Democrat....what do you think of Obama and Clinton?


Taryn: Obama seems like a nice dude. He's very clean cut and smart. But, I don't know that I agree with his opinions. I'm afraid he is tarnished in my mind because of the way he danced when he appeared on the Ellen show. He was pretty lame.


Clinton? I think she is one tough broad. She has her hands full being married to Bill. I really like Bill and think he is very smart....he's just what my grandfather used to term as "Life stupid and Book smart". I think Hillary is "Life smart and Book smart." I like Hilly. Sue me.


George: Are you always this blunt?


Taryn: Duh, what do you think??? (I'm sarcastic too).


I'm Taryn Simpson and I approve of this message. You can take a hike now, George.




More Musings Later-

Can Anyone Help?

It's been awhile since I last posted. Can anyone say "Stomach Flu"??? Oh My God.....I can't remember the last time I was that sick. It was NASTY. And, I do mean N-A-S-T-Y. Ugh.

But, I got over it as we all tend to do, which brings me to this current post.

Remember my friend, Jason Walker? Yep, he is the co-author of "Missing My Body" and he and his family are in DIRE need of a Full Size, Wheelchair Equipped Van. As you may remember, Jason has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy and I do believe he is the oldest living MD patient if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway, as you can imagine, living with this horrible disease is very costly and in order to transport Jason anywhere, his family must have a van.

So here is my plea: IF ANYONE KNOWS OF A VAN DEALERSHIP THAT WILL DONATE A FULL SIZED, WHEELCHAIR EQUIPPED VAN, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

You can contact me at TSIM681157@aol.com.

Any help you can provide would be appreciated.

More Musings Later-

FAMILY T R A D I T I O N

The title almost screams the refrain of the song from Fiddler on the Roof, doesn't it? I think it is an interesting concept though...

How many traditions do you and your family past or present have? I'm sure we share some of the traditional ones (like holiday celebrations). But some... I'm willing to bet some of mine are unique! Especially as I was growing up...

For Example:

* The parents have just announced that we are going out to dinner.

TRADITION: My sister and I dance the celebratory "Food Dance" in the kitchen.

* You are at a party and someone asks if you do any impressions of celebrities

TRADITION: If your sister is there, you break into a complete with choreography, a spirited rendition of "I'm a little bit Country, I'm a little bit Rock and Roll" by Donny and Marie.

* You and your sister decide you are going to go out clubbing

TRADITION: You eat a Sonic Burger to sop all of the alcohol you will ingest later.

* You and your sister get to the club and one forgets the order in which to switch alcohol.

TRADITION: The other sister reminds you that "Drink a beer first, then any kind of alcohol you want except for wine." Why? This hypothesis is a proven fact for sibling stomachs.

* You go to eat Mexican Food

TRADITION: Both of you use the tortilla chips in the basket by dipping them in the refried beans and then dipping into the fried rice. Because a man that looked like your Uncle did it a million years ago in a Monterey House restaurant and he took the time to school the both of us in fine dipping of Mexican food. It somehow tastes more delicious than eating it the regular way.

* You watch people on TV that have unusual facial expressions or speaking habits.

TRADITION: Both you and your sister begin to make fun of them.

~~~~

I love family traditions, don't you?

More Musings Later-

Things Everyone Should Do At Least Once In Their Life...

1. Take a Chance - on whatever it is that inspires or spurs your passion.

2. Go to New York City

3. While in New York City, go to a neighborhood pub and strike up conversation with the locals.

4. While in New York City, dine at Tavern on the Green.

5. Keep a Journal...and One day, it will keep you.

6. Make a point to say "Thank You" at least once a day.

7. Sing Karaoke and have fun with it.

8. Go Skinny Dipping...you'll never forget it.

9. Pay off all your debt, you will feel so powerful once you do.

10. Travel to a tropical island

11. Take a weekend trip with yourself.

12. Take a bubble bath, light candles and play relaxing music.

13. Get a massage

14. Go to Barnes & Noble and browse through all the books for an entire afternoon

15. Do whatever it takes to finish this sentence: "I'm so glad that I decided to __________ when I had the chance."

Make your own list, you'll be glad you did.

More Musings Later-

Deer in the Headlights

Last night we were traveling down Old Murfreesboro Road where the blackness of the night hung in the air as thick as pea soup fog.

I spotted a couple of cars that had stopped on the side of the road that had appeared to be in a fender bender situation. I slowed the car down and asked if we could help...a young man was visibly upset and told us that everyone was ok, but he hit a baby deer and it was hurt.

In the meantime, another young man was trying his best to grab the deer so that he could finish it off and proclaim the poor animal as "dinner". I yelled at him to ask if anyone called animal control or the ASPCA. He gave me a sour look and dropped the deer and left.

We quickly called the police and animal control and the 3 of us, strangers to all, stared at this beautiful deer in the night, trying to talk and soothe it's shattered nerves. The deer finally stopped struggling and watched us as much as we were watching it.

I could see the shallow panting and the blood on the ground that was spilled as he darted into traffic, smack dab into a Pontiac Vibe. I noticed the deer's tongue was soaked with blood and knew that it wasn't looking good for this little doe-eyed beauty. Hopefully, the animal expert would be here to sedate it and take care of it.

The swirling colors of blue, white and red filled up the sky as the cop soon arrived. He didn't say much except to check on the animal expert. The deer by now had grown accustomed to our faces and had a sense of trust that we were trying to help him.





The animal expert showed up and flashed a light on the deer. We offered ideas on how best to move the deer and asked if he was going to sedate it first.

He looked at us with disdain as he spoke to the cop quietly. "What are you going to do?" my partner asked. "Maam, step away from the animal." is all he would say. He had a huge bulbous stomach that had stretched out the ragged polo shirt he was wearing. He went to his truck and got a revolver.

We all 3 were incredulous. My partner demanded his badge number, to which he replied:

"Maam, step away from the animal. If you try to interfere with my job, I'll take you downtown." So there we had it...she had been threatened by the poster boy for "Hunters R Us". We all 3 looked at the doe again and began to cry. The little guy trusted that we were going to help him.

I can only hope that the gunshot ended his pain quickly. I know that for me, that gunshot is still ringing in my ears and isn't likely to stop my pain anytime soon.




More Musings Later-

Something to Share....the Intrigue Goes On...

Last night I was reading my emails that multiply faster than rabbits and decided to check my Gmail account.


There he was, Alan Solomon was online just starting the next day's work while I am winding down with mine from trom the previous day. That's how it is in China and Nashville.


So, I am reading my email and a new email with an attachment pops up suddenly. It's from Alan. I read it, and I am taken with it. I have a huge crazy grin on my face as he types out his proposal.

Yes, we are collaborating again on another book. Can we do it again? Stay tuned...

If you Build it, They will Come

What a nice early birthday gift.

More Musings Later-

The Bucket List

Loi Kroh Road, Chiang Mai, Thailand

The most mystical road in the world.

I've already walked it in my dreams, but would love to experience it in person.

The other day I saw an advertisement for a movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman's latest movie, entitled: "The Bucket List". Apparently, each of them are ill and want to experience adventures before they "Kick the Bucket". Hence, "The Bucket List."

It got me to thinking about my own Bucket List. I haven't really made one, but I have thoughts and ideas tucked away of things I would love to do and accomplish. So, without further adieu:

My Bucket List

1. Win the Pulitzer Prize for Best Fiction

for "The Mango Tree Cafe, Loi Kroh Road"


2. Write a One Woman Show for Broadway
Subject is in my mind, but yet to put pen to paper.

3. Create an Invention, Patent it and Sell it.

In progress (beginning stages)

4. Play in the World Poker Tour

In progress (beginning stages)

5. Travel to Thailand to actually walk Loi Kroh Road

We'll see, not sure I could fly for that long.

6. Create a Creative Writing Camp for Kids

Would love to take those "odd ducks" and have them realize how unique they are.

7. Have "The Mango Tree Cafe, Loi Kroh Road" made into a film.

Anyone know how to contact Sir Anthony Hopkins?

8. Learn how to fly an airplane

I think that would be so cool!

9. Be Invited to Oprah's show to discuss "The Mango Tree Cafe, Loi Kroh Road"

C'mon, you knew that was coming didn't you?

10. Tour Ernest Hemingway's home in Key West, Florida.
I want to see his 6 toed cats too!

11. Last but certainly not least, Before I die, I want to belly laugh.

Really laugh where the tears come and you are holding your stomach.

I want to appreciate the greatest of gifts as well as the smallest.

Lesbian Killers

The other evening, my partner and I had just finished a job for a client and we both hadn't eaten all day. Needless to say, we were starved and since we were out, we decided to get some dinner.

We found a restaurant that we both liked and decided to have dinner. We bellied up to the bar and ordered an appetizer and had a couple of drinks. The bar area was packed, mostly with young professionals after attending their office Christmas parties. So you could say....uh.....they were a tad tipsy.

As my partner and I were talking, I heard a fellow behind me say rather loudly, "I'm a Lesbian killer". I turned around and gave him an irritated look and he changed the subject with his companions. The minute I turned around, he started again, "I'm a Lesbian killer".

I looked at my partner, shook my head and wondered to myself: Do we really live in the year 2007, almost 2008 and have to contend with people that are ignorant and dare I say afraid of differentness? I guess it will always be that way.

So, instead of making a big deal of it, I turned around and continued talking to my partner who I adore and love to talk to. We giggled, laughed and talked about our day. And, suddenly, I wasn't so aware of when the boob behind me was "threatening" that he was a Lesbian killer.

Actually, I began to feel sorry for him. He must feel awfully insecure both as a person and as a man. No one should feel that way.

Not even a "Lesbian Killer."

More Musings Later....you can count on it.

The Time is NOW

2007 is coming to a close, and 2008 will be here before we can turn around good.

'Tis the season to get our "Chi" in order!

Let me ask you some questions...

• Are you living the best life you can live?


• Are you fulfilled?


• Are you prosperous in every way, not just financial?


• Are you able to do what you love?


• Are you inspired and interested?


• Do you feel peaceful?

If you answered NO to at least 1 of these questions, then my recommendation to you is to do yourself a favor and buy "The Secret". (Then you can buy "The Mango Tree Cafe, Loi Kroh Road", sorry, shameless plug).


For those who are interested in preparing for the new year by focusing on spiritual guidance, this post is for you! Enjoy!!

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Would you like a little Psychic Guidance?

meet George Anderson

Lisa Williams (my favorite at the moment)


John Edward - International Psychic Medium - Welcome to the only official website worldwide.

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How about Help with interpreting dreams?

Dream Symbols from the Edgar Cayce readings.

Dream Intuitive

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Find your purpose with Numerology

Monthly Numerology and Archive of Past Months : Shirley MacLaine

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Find out "The Secret"

The Secret :: Official Web Site of The Secret Movie :: Law of Attraction

TUTs Adventurers Club: Totally Unique Store

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Need a Barnes & Noble Day?
Buy ANYTHING By:

Edgar Cayce, The Sleeping Prophet

Wayne Dyer

Shirley MacLaine

Kalil Gibron

Lisa Williams
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Want to rent a funny, yet spiritually tinged movie?

"Defending Your Life" - Albert Brooks, Meryl Streep and a guest appearance by Shirley MacLaine.

One of my favorite all time movies!

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MEDITATE

Finally, make a point to meditate every day. No outlandish bells or whistles required. Simply sit in a room where it is quiet and peaceful. Close your eyes and practice deep breathing and relaxing your body. Do not think about any one thing. Clear your head. You may want to listen to some soothing music or just sit in silence. It is entirely up to you.

10 minutes of meditation will take years off your life. Try it.



Oh yeah, Happy 2008 Everyone!

Rest in Peace, Dan Fogelberg

For those who haven't heard...Dan Fogelberg passed away from Cancer at 6am this morning. He died with his wife, Jean by his side at home in Maine. He was 56 years old.

He leaves behind a wealth of songs and artistry. For me? I was slow to warm up to his music, but I remember when I did get hooked. The songs were "Stars" and "To the Morning."

Dan also used to lived in Kingston Springs, Tennessee which is about 30 minutes outside Nashville. Hearing stories around town of when he lived here made him feel like a neighbor even if he didn't live next door to me. I'll miss Dan. Thanks for the music and lyrics.

To The Morning

by Dan Fogelberg

Watching the sun...watching it come Watching it come up over the rooftops

Cloudy and warm...maybe a storm You can never quite tell from the morning

(Chorus)

And it's going to be a day There is really no way to say no to the morning

Yes it's going to be a day There is really nothing left to say but come on morning

Waiting for mail Maybe a tale from an old friend or even a lover Sometimes there's none

But we have fun thinking of all who might have written

(Chorus)

And maybe there are seasons And maybe they change

And maybe to love is not so strange

The sounds of the day Now they hurry away Now they are gone until tomorrow

When day will break and you will wake And you will rake your hands across your eyes and realize

That it's going to be a day There is really no way to say no to the morning

Yes it's going to be a day

There is really nothing left to say but come on morning

And maybe there are seasons and maybe they change

And maybe to love is not so strange

Dan Fogelberg

1951 - 2007

Come on Mornin, indeed....Rest in Peace.

Southernisms - Part II

By popular demand, I am offering some Southernisms for some Holiday Cheer!

Ann Richard-ism: "Poor George, He was born with a silver foot in his mouth"

Translation: None Needed. He's an idiot.

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Southernism: "I'm going to have a Come To Jesus meeting with Ralph"

Translation: I'm going to have a heart to heart conversation with Ralph.

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Southernism: "If you don't shut up, I'll shoot and take you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! And, don't think I can't do it!" Dolly Parton

Translation: If you refuse to be quiet, I'll shoot you in a strategic area that will cause you to speak in a high voice for life. And don't think I can't do it.
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Statement: "I feel sure I got the job"

Southernism Response: "There's many a slip between the cup and the lip."

Translation: You can't be certain until an offer is made.

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Southernism: "We're in a mell of a hess"

Translation: I don't wish to curse, but I intend to say, "We're in a Hell of a Mess".

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Southernism: The printer is printing documents wampy- jawed.

Translation: The printer is printing documents in a crooked fashion

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Southernism: "Wash up as far as possible, wash as far down as possible, then be sure to wash possible."

Translation: Take a shower or bath and be sure to wash your groin area.

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Southernism: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

Translation: It's best to secure a sure thing rather than rely on a possibility.

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Mamaw-ism: "A problem is like white meat. The more you chew on it, the bigger it gets."

Translation: The more you think about your problems, the more it will consume all of your thoughts.

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Southernism: "I'm so hungry, my stomach's touchin' my backbone"

Translation: I'm very hungry, I haven't eaten anything all day.

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Mamaw-ism: "I see said the blind man to his deaf and dumb dog"

Translation: The statement you made doesn't make any sense.

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Southernism: "Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone's got one."

Translation: Everyone is going to have an opinion.

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Mom-ism: "I could squeeze a nickel so hard, I could make the buffalo take a crap."

Translation: I'm very frugal with money.

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Southernism: "That boy's not right. He's one fry short of a happy meal"

Translation: That boy doesn't seem to have all his mental facilities.

Who Would YOU Invite to Dinner?

I've had people in the past ask me this question: "If you could invite anyone, living or dead to a dinner party, who would it be? I thought it was an interesting question and gave me cause to reflect and you know writers love that sort of thing.

So, I decided to give me list of "Who I would invite to my dinner party, living or dead" By the way, no fair on listing God, Jesus etc. We're talking PEOPLE, ok?

My Dinner Party List

1. Oprah Winfrey
2. Maya Angelou
3. Laura Ingalls Wilder
4. Ann Richards
5. Whoopi Goldberg
6. Lisa Williams, (psychic)
7. Shirley MacLaine
8. Ernest Hemingway
9. Ellen Degeneres
10. Bette Midler

Attire: Your most comfortable pajamas because we will have a sleep over afterward. (I'm going to make wearing your pj's in public popular. If Hugh Hefner can do it, so can I)

Why did I choose these guests?
Oprah Winfrey - She is a teacher to many and I would love to learn
Maya Angelou - She is the one who mentored Oprah...When she speaks, people should shut up and listen.
Laura Ingalls Wilder - I would love to ask her questions about her childhood. What she thinks of her popular childrens books
Ann Richards - I LOVE this woman. I want to be Ann Richards when I grow up.
Whoopi Goldberg - A wise woman with alot of truth. Not to mention she is hysterical
Lisa Williams - I would have alot of questions for her. She is the most amazing psychic I've ever seen. That and she is just so darn pleasant!
Shirley MacLaine - The big hitter of metaphysical teachings. She is very smart.
Ernest Hemingway - I would like to ask him about his life in Key West, what drove him, what he thought about his writing and how he got into the "writing zone".
Ellen Degeneres - When we have crammed our heads full of wisdom, we can take a dance break! That and I think Ellen is a geniunely good person and is funny as hell.
Bette Midler - The most outrageous performer...truly a yen and yang personality. I would love to get to know her better.

More Musings Later-